Flower Enthusiast

petermorwood: lindentreeisle: satdjehuti: hobo-logical: tonelessmandarin: penfairy: bitter-badf...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 16:02:43 -0400

lindentreeisle:

satdjehuti:

hobo-logical:

tonelessmandarin:

penfairy:

bitter-badfem-harpy:

penfairy:

Okay, it’s official. I’ve found my favourite historical anecdote of all time.

So in ancient Rome they had this tradition where they had to consult the gods and check they had divine approval before they went into battle. They did this by bringing forth a flock of sacred chickens and throwing grain at them. Their behaviour would then determine whether or not the gods were on your side. If the hens didn’t eat or wouldn’t leave their cage, it was a Bad Omen and you had to postpone battle and ask again the next day. If the chickens ate happily it was a Good Omen and you could go and chop up some Gauls or Carthaginians or whoever you happened to be fighting.

Now, there are lots of little stories about these chickens, but I just found one I hadn’t seen before. In 137 BC, the consul C. Hostilius Mancinus tried to take auspices before battle, but:

pulli cavea emissi in proximam silvam fugerunt summaque diligentia quaesiti reperiri nequiverunt

the chickens once released from their cage fled into a nearby wood and even though they were sought with the greatest diligence, they could not be recovered.

Can you fucking believe that. Can you actually believe that happened. The Romans have a reputation for being so stern and sensible and stoic and that happened. Like… everyone’s ready for battle, so you turn to your assistant and say “BRING FORTH THE CHICKENS” and you throw down the grain and open up their cage and the chickens just. run. they fucking run. those tiny velociraptor bastards abscond screaming into the woods like there’s no tomorrow. Blinking in disbelief, you send soldiers into the woods to recover them but those feathered bandits are gone. Vanished. The gods have deserted you. You’re beating bushes and following the sounds of triumphant clucks. The soldiers are frantic. The chickens are gone.

He lost the battle. It was a Bad Omen.

That sounds like the ultimate Bad Omen like at that point you go home and start drawing up an armistice bc the gods told you to go fuck yourself with chickens

That’s… pretty much what happened. The chicken omen, along with a few other Bad Omens, resulted in:

infelici pugna, turpi foedere, deditione funesta

“a lost battle, a shameful peace treaty, and a calamitous handover.”

so yeah, he lost the battle and had to go home and sign an embarrassing peace treaty that the Romans complained about years later, and when they talk about him they curse him for his praecipitem audaciam - “reckless audacity” - and vesana perseverantia “insane obstinacy” because NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU’D LISTENED TO THE CHICKENS AND POSTPONED BATTLE LIKE THEY TOLD YOU.

Don’t forget naval commander Claudius Pulcher, whose sacred chickens refused to eat anything before the battle of Drepana. He tossed the chickens overboard, saying if they won’t eat, then let them drink, and went into battle where he promptly lost almost all of his ships and crew. I forget if he died or returned to Rome in disgrace, but it was a freaking disaster and the sacred chickens called it.

@chiauve i think you’ll love this as much as I do

I’m not sure which phrase in this post is my favorite, “bring forth the chickens” or “this would have never happened if you listened to the chickens.”

What about Pulcher’s line: “Bibant, quoniam esse nolunt!” - They can drink if they won’t eat! - after which the sacred chooks went swimming.

I bet the spreading news of what he’d done ruined the morale of his entire fleet and went a long way towards why he lost the battle. Men who think their commander has offended the gods aren’t going to fight well on his behalf, in case the gods spread their offended wrath around. (If I remember my “Myths of Ancient Greece and Rome” correctly, the Olympian lot tended to do that a lot.)

AFAIK when Pulcher* returned to Rome in disgrace the Senate immediately tried him for impiety (a Senatorial message to the gods that they didn’t approve of him either) then banished him to exile where he died soon after.

Moral: don’t be horrid to the holy hens.

(*For the second time in this post, spell-checker wanted me to spell his name as “Pucker”. Appropriate, I suppose. Go figure.)

phemiec: The thing about Wierd Al is that he’s actually a creative genius and I think because he...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 13:06:48 -0400

phemiec:

The thing about Wierd Al is that he’s actually a creative genius and I think because he makes parody music people dont give him credit for how talented he actually is.

He can imitate any style of music, his vocal range is incredible, and his understanding of rhyme and meter is so good that his songs are instantly understandable on first listen, despite the speed and complexity of his wordplay.

He’s also apologized and owned up to offensive jokes he’s made in the past, he makes sure to get proper permissions for his parodies and by all accounts is a really decent person.

I’m just really inspired by him and his music, and his tounge twister lyrics are probably the reason I love and use so much wordplay in my own songs today.

HEY ARTISTS!

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 13:01:19 -0400

girlwiththegreenhat:

Do you design a lot of characters living in not-modern eras and you’re tired of combing through google for the perfect outfit references? Well I got good news for you kiddo, this website has you covered! Originally @modmad made a post about it, but her link stopped working and I managed to fix it, so here’s a new post. Basically, this is a costume rental website for plays and stage shows and what not, they have outfits for several different decades from medieval to the 1980s. LOOK AT THIS SELECTION:

OPEN ANY CATEGORY AND OH LORDY–

There’s a lot of really specific stuff in here, I design a lot of 1930s characters for my ask blog and with more chapters on the way for the game it belongs to I’m gonna be designing more, and this website is going to be an invaluable reference. I hope this can be useful to my other fellow artists as well! :)

arachnaboy: indigowallbreaker: bluesocksandfluff: taylortut: spider-man-stan: taylortut: taylo...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 22:23:25 -0400

arachnaboy:

indigowallbreaker:

bluesocksandfluff:

taylortut:

spider-man-stan:

taylortut:

taylortut:

peter retaliating against “baby monitor protocol” by changing the names of Tony’s Iron Man protocols

“hey FRIDAY, zoom in on that building over there”

“Old Man Bifocals protocol activated, Boss”

“what the fuck did you just say to me”

“FRIDAY alert the team that my thrusters are down and i can’t fly”

“sure thing, activating I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up Protocol”

“PETER WE TALKED ABOUT THIS”

Tony: FRIDAY, open these encrypted files we don’t have a lot of time-

FRIDAY: activating the Fr E Sh A Voca Do protocol

Tony, sobbing: PETER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES THIS MEAN

AMAZING

-Peter gets hurt in a battle-

FRIDAY: Bone Hurting Juice Protocol has been activated - Mr. Parker is in distress.

Tony: -stops- He’s what? The what?

Peter: -over the com- Oof, ouch… my bones…

Tony: FRIDAY! Engage autopilot!

FRIDAY: Activating Jesus Take The Wheel protocol.

Tony: Really, Pete?

how dare all of u forget the most important one

FRIDAY saying ‘yeet’ whenever he fires his repulsors

captain-snark: it’s no wonder slytherins are all like ‘fuck the rest of you’ like fred and george...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 22:17:48 -0400

captain-snark:

it’s no wonder slytherins are all like ‘fuck the rest of you’ like fred and george weasley booed at an 11 year old who got sorted into Slytherin.

like fuckin imagine you’re 11 and at HOGWARTS and you’re a fucking WIZARD and you’re like YEA IMMA LEARN MAGIC but also I MIGHT PUKE cos you’re 11 and away from home for the first time and terrified

and your first interaction is to be booed at by three quarters of the school

like fuck you guys

leejordan: @fandomaestheticnet: pride month event 💕 lgbtq+...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 22:15:00 -0400

leejordan:

@fandomaestheticnet: pride month event 💕 lgbtq+ characters » bill potts (doctor who)
“men aren’t where i keep my eye, actually.”

leejordan: slytherin + typography. these cunning folks use any...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 22:09:52 -0400

leejordan:

slytherin + typography. these cunning folks use any means to achieve their end.

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses: fun fact! the producer of shrek...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:55:14 -0400

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

fun fact! the producer of shrek based Lord Farquaad on his evil former boss, the CEO of disney, Michael Eisner. They even look the fucking same

in real life Eisner is pretty tall. on the other hand, the shrek producer, Jeffrey Katzenberg, is quite short . Eisner, being an asshole, once infamously said of Katenzberg, “I think I hate that little midget.”

so 5′0″ Katzenberg went and turned his asshole boss into a little person named Lord Fuckwad

yeah

skl-earper207: playing a card game Them: how do you always win? Me: I have an ACE up my...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:50:53 -0400

skl-earper207:

*playing a card game*

Them: how do you always win?

Me: I have an ACE up my sleeve.

Them: that’s cheating!

Me: not if……

#asexual #asexuality #pride

curiousobsession101: gatewaycommunism: queeranarchism: Fun fact: in the 80′s the Dutch Unemployed...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:49:31 -0400

curiousobsession101:

gatewaycommunism:

queeranarchism:

Fun fact: in the 80′s the Dutch Unemployed Union held ‘fridge raids’ to protest against poverty.

They’d find out when a politician of big boss who upheld poverty and starvation wages was speaking at some public even, then they’d carefully break into his house with a LOT of people and they would eat EVERY piece of food in his house and leave the empty dished behind without taking anything else.

Direct action at its finest.

We should bring this back.

aroace-people-are-lgtbq: aroace-people-are-lgtbq: Aspec symbols Forgive me if someone has made this...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:48:28 -0400

aroace-people-are-lgtbq:

aroace-people-are-lgtbq:

Aspec symbols

Forgive me if someone has made this already, but I thought it would be cool to list the symbols of the ace and aro communities. The ace symbols are generally accepted, but the aromantic symbols are things that I have seen floating around on tumblr. If you have any questions about where these come from I’d be happy to link you to the posts/ sources

This is meant to be a comprehensive collection, so if I forgot anything, please let me know so I can add it!

Asexual symbols

Asexual flag

Black ring on the middle finger of the right hand

Dragons

Cake

Cards (Ace of hearts and Ace of spades)

Pirates, “Ace pirates aren’t interested in your booty”

Axolotls

Space

Denim Vests

Cryptids

Wolves

Ghosts (Just for Demisexuals)

Aromantic Symbols

Aromantic flag

White ring on the middle finger of the left hand

Griffins

Pizza

Arrows/Archery

Aardvarks

Yellow roses

Ice cream sandwiches

Rats

Nandays and Caiques

Let me know if I’m missing anything! (thank you to @singeroftalesvoiceofages , @somethingawesomeandironic , and anonymous for your additions)

This is the updated list, please rb this one instead!

fucking-meatball: xekstrin: nitro-nova-deactivated20180206: A...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:46:57 -0400

fucking-meatball:

xekstrin:

nitro-nova-deactivated20180206:

A new religious statue in the town of Davidson, N.C., is unlike anything you might see in church.

The statue depicts Jesus as a vagrant sleeping on a park bench. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church installed the homeless Jesus statue on its property in the middle of an upscale neighborhood filled with well-kept townhomes.

Jesus is huddled under a blanket with his face and hands obscured; only the crucifixion wounds on his uncovered feet give him away.

The reaction was immediate. Some loved it; some didn’t.

“One woman from the neighborhood actually called police the first time she drove by,” says David Boraks, editor of DavidsonNews.net. “She thought it was an actual homeless person.”

That’s right. Somebody called the cops on Jesus.

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Since you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.

“Why are you in Hell?”
“I called the cops on Jesus.”

kvothe-kingkiller: furbearingbrick: teashoesandhair: peppapigvevo: fawnbro: orcasoup: orcasoup: ...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:43:29 -0400

kvothe-kingkiller:

furbearingbrick:

teashoesandhair:

peppapigvevo:

fawnbro:

orcasoup:

orcasoup:

*male artist voice* this is my new project, it’s like, the dark side of Disney princesses. so like, Alice is on drugs, belle has Stockholm syndrome, jasmine is a terrorist and sleeping beauty is getting plastic surgery. it’s super cutting edge as you can see

also look out for my new greek goddess paintings, including ‘naked white woman with helmet’, ‘naked white woman with pomegranate’, ‘naked white woman with bow and arrow’ and who could forget ‘naked white woman with slightly bigger boobs and a rose’

also stay tuned for my seven deadly sins paintings, including such classics as ‘naked white woman looking at herself in a mirror’, ‘mostly naked white woman posing in lingerie in a bed’, and my personal favourite ‘naked big breasted woman looking at you, the viewer, lustily’

I’m screaming this is exactly it tho lolll

Don’t forget to check out my latest project called ‘millennials’, where I critique society’s obsession with technology through a series of paintings such as ‘people in suits staring at phone screens which are sucking their souls out’, ‘white woman takes a selfie as the world burns around her’, ‘teenage girl photographs a shipwreck and ignores the drowning passengers in favour of choosing an Instagram filter’, and finally ‘image which bluntly reminds you, the viewer, that you too are a slave to technology, as you are viewing my artwork through the medium of a screen, completely ignoring the fact that I made all these paintings on a computer and uploaded them to Deviantart myself’.

every time i check back on this post it keeps getting better

As someone who takes AP art at a very white very rich quite liberal school… y o u w o u l d n o t b e l i e v e

f1rstperson: hollowfacade: squided: breadedsinner: Uh hey quick question what the FUCK does that...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:41:53 -0400

f1rstperson:

hollowfacade:

squided:

breadedsinner:

Uh hey quick question what the FUCK does that mean?

It means you need to agree to do a long list of things not in the job description for no extra wage and you can’t complain about it or ask for more money

Applicant must lick my boots during interview and tell me they enjoy it.

“I think my labor is worth a livable amount money” how millennial of you

pemberlaey: Moodboard: Diana “Heavenly, Divine” I will show you...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:40:51 -0400

pemberlaey:

Moodboard: Diana “Heavenly, Divine”

I will show you fear in a handful of dust

for @moscardo

i-have-no-gender-only-rage: passive aggressive five star yelp...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:40:42 -0400

i-have-no-gender-only-rage:

passive aggressive five star yelp reviews

i-am-a-fish: tereozil: Laugh From Around The World In ...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:39:17 -0400

i-am-a-fish:

tereozil:

Laugh From Around The World In Messages.

From fb.

being a DM in dnd like

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:38:52 -0400

brotheralyosha:

esmiedo:

esmiedo:

@helpicantthinkofaurl

I apologize for lashing out. One of my players threw themselves in acid after they were fully aware it was in fact acid. I did not and still do not know how to deal with that.

In the very first D&D game that I ever played, our party was standing right outside the entrance to a dungeon. Part of the area was covered in a red energy field. Inside the red energy field, all of the grass was dead, and right on the border between the area inside the energy field and outside of it, there was a collection of dead animals, insects, and other forest creatures. As we watched, a little bunny came hopping up, hopped into the red energy field, and, the moment that it entered the field, instantly dropped dead.

Guess what one of our players decided to do next. Take a wild fuckin guess.

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:38:22 -0400

transhumanisticpanspermia: franklyfranchia: targent: what is it about being on a plane that makes...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:37:44 -0400

transhumanisticpanspermia:

franklyfranchia:

targent:

what is it about being on a plane that makes people go buckwild for ginger ale literally everyone be ordering it

ginger ale is supposed 2 help settle ur stomach if ur nauseous so ppl get it on planes if they get planesick

ginger grow in the ground so it keeps you connected to god’s earth while you’re thousands of feet up in the Heathen Tube